Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Decorations All Aglow

We have decorated our home for the Christmas Holiday Season.  Last year we caught the flu and missed most of the parties and gatherings of our family and friends.  We decided to decorate early so at least that would be done in case we have a repeat of last year.

It is always exciting to get out the decorations and try to decide a different way to use them.  We try to make at least a few changes each year.  One of the most rewarding parts of decorating is watching our ideas become a reality.

We used the smaller tree this year…………

……the main part of the living room is a little different……….

……the hutch is all decked out…..

……….the front door welcomes all………..

……….the reindeer and bears are ready………..

……..and Buffy and I are checking out our work up close….
(You know that once I got down there it took a bulldozer to get me back up!)


I hope all of you are in a “happy place” and ready to enjoy the Christmas Season!!!!!!! J

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

A Couple Of Lessons To Learn

I have been reading a lot lately.  Several of the books I have read recently have been about people suffering terrible hardships and their journeys through this time.  Some have even died and been “sent back”.  A couple of them have been about their experiences of going to Heaven and coming back to this world.  All are basically about one theme – learning life lessons in their suffering and pain.

Most of us with MS know that we have to learn to deal with all the issues we have and go on with our lives.  The worse our pain is the more severe my fatigue is. I know that seems like a “duh” statement, but with all the things our bodies go through on a daily basis, the obvious is not always the right answer.

Another lesson that is common in these stories is how to let other people help with these struggles. This may seem simple to some, but as I become less able to do things, I fight harder against letting anyone help me. Sometimes it seems like the more someone has to do things for me, the more I resent it.  I don’t mean that I resent the people helping me just the fact that they have to do it.  There are so many times I want to just look around a store and go where I want to.  Without my husband holding onto me, I would not be able to walk in a store at all.  I know he doesn’t mind this……….but I do.

There are so many lessons we all need to learn each day.  These are just a couple of the things covered in these books.  Life is a challenge at best. When someone has an illness/disease to deal with each day, it is even more so.  I guess that is why we seem to describe ourselves as warriors….we fight the dragon every day… up IS NOT an option!!!!!!

Monday, December 10, 2012

Day of Depression

(I have really missed writing this blog.  I hope that I will not have a sabbatical again anytime in the near future!)

I had one of those days yesterday.  You know the ones….  when nothing has any joy…..when tears are always ready to fall…..when no matter what you do you can’t get out of being in a “blue funk”.

My psychiatrist always says it is my mother, my MS, not having a job at the moment, etc, etc, etc.  I am sure all of the above contributes to it, but I can’t seem to go along with any of them causing the sadness I can’t seem to shake.  The more I try to pinpoint the cause, the more confused I become.  There does not seem to be an answer I am satisfied with as being the main cause.

I have always heard that during the Holidays there are more suicides and bouts of depression than any other time of the year. That is not in any way my problem.  I get so excited during this time of the year.  It is a feeling like being a child again.  I love the times with my children and grandchildren; I love preparing the Holiday meals; I love shopping for presents and wrapping them; I love decorating our home.  The Holidays definitely do not depress me.

My mother is a cause of stress and worry for both me and my husband.  She does, even after all these years, have a way of knowing what to say or do to hurt me.  I don’t think she is a main cause of my blue periods because she has never  been any different than she is now and I don’t expect  her to change.  Even though she is a thorn in our sides, she is predictable.

As with most people with MS, I have good days and bad days and worse days.  The original diagnosis probably caused most of us to have a panicky feeling, I think most of us have adjusted to it and accept it.  There are times of depression when people around us are doing things that we no longer can do.  Fortunately, these periods are usually short-lived and we realize how much we are thankful that our friends and family do not suffer with our disease.

Not having a job at this time in my life is a blessing.  I doubt that any employer would keep me with all the days I would miss work because of pain and inability to walk.  There is also the problem of not being able to think normally or be able to keep my thoughts together well enough to perform at the rate that most jobs require.  Besides, being retired is so much better than working!

As is true with everyone else, there are many aspects of life that I wish were different.  The hardest thing most of us do is to wait.  As our hope of things changing much for the better fades, depression often sets in.  Whether it is our home circumstances, medical condition, drugs or whatever, we can never lose our hope of things really becoming better.  As I am climbing out of this hole, I know that I am not alone in this struggle.  For all of you who are climbing out too, hang in there………I am almost at the top…….if you need a helping hand to get you out just reach up…….there is always Someone ready to pull you up and out!

Tuesday, December 4, 2012


I must be taking a Sabbatical because I cannot seem to get working on a blog lately.  Hopefully some inspiration will soon come.

Until then, hope your Thanksgiving was wonderful and your Christmas (if I don't get back to blogging!) will be blessed beyond compare!!!