I realized when I was saying my prayers yesterday that I seemed to have a lot of “I wish” in them. I always pray for my husband and all of our family and friends, including my online friends that I love so much. There just seems to be a lot of wishing involved anymore. (I say wish/pray, they are each referring to the same desire)
For example: I always pray that there will soon be a cure for all our diseases and if not, that we will each find something to help relieve our pain. I pray that the loneliness that some feel will be relived and they will find love and happiness. I pray that those who seem so angry about their condition will find peace and be able to deal with life in a more positive way. I pray that all of us will find the strength to help someone who is reaching out to us for compassion and guidance. This list is very long, so I will stop here with that one.
Another list I always have a lot on is praying for our leaders and for anyone who makes decisions that will affect all of us. This list is long also.
I also try to remember to pray for all those in harm’s way, whether it involves being in a war situation or a weather situation. There are so very many who are placed in unspeakable horror every day and I try to remember them.
These are just a few examples of some of the things on my list I pray for all the time. I know you have many on yours also. There are so many needs that sometimes I feel like all I do is to ask God for something. I hope that I also remember to thank Him for all I have .
Sometimes it is hard for me to put into words what I wish. Of course I would like to be “normal”, but I also want to enjoy the things I can still do and not grumble all the time. I really work at not constantly saying “this hurts”, “I can’t do that”, “this is not working”, etc. Those who are around me do not want to hear that all the time and neither do I!
I was reading a post on a site the other day from a girl with Parkinson’s. She was trying to explain something she was feeling but could not find the words to tell it. It was a fairly long post, but the gist of it was that she was trying to get help with something she could not explain. Most of us with ongoing illnesses know that feeling well. Sometimes my husband will ask me what is wrong and I don’t know how to explain it to him. It is hard to wish for something that you can’t put into words.
Most of us with MS have a variety of things that plague us from time to time. The medical community loves to put multiple-lettered words together to tell us what it is we are experiencing. Few of us can repeat it or know anyone who would know what it was if we could. If I tell you my face feels like there is a knife raking down the side of it, you will know what I am talking about. If I use some fancy big medical term, you probably will not.
I guess what I am trying to say is that I do not want to live my life in wishes. I am able to do some things and be a part of the world. When we constantly wish things were different, we lose sight of all the wonderful things we have now.
While I am in the list mood, I think I will start on my list to Santa. He is so very busy during the months most people send him lists that maybe if I send him one now he will not have to rush to get the things together. Now………..if I just knew where to start……….