I always loved the
fair. The games, rides, food, lights and
people made it such a special adventure when I was young. It was such a treat and one that only
happened often enough to keep it exciting and different from normal activities.
Sometimes I think of
MS as going to the Fair and riding the roller coaster. There are so many ups and downs we go through
each day. Some days I get up and can
hardly move, but by the afternoon, I am getting around pretty good. Some days I get up feeling pretty good, but
spend the afternoon in the recliner barely able to move. I guess that is why it is so hard for people
who are not afflicted with this Monster to understand……….it is never the same.
On days that I feel
pretty good, my mind wants to think that maybe it is a mistake to think I have
MS and I need to try and get on with my life.
Unfortunately, things don’t stay that way. About the time I am really getting into this
idea, it hits me between the eyes! My
legs start wobbling and hurting, my tongue gets thick and I can’t speak well,
and my brain turns to mush. To say it is
a letdown is to put it VERY mildly.
I guess that’s one of
the reasons why so many people with MS have problems with depression. About the time you try and get used to one
problem, another jumps up and hits
you. This roller coaster of pain and
emotions is hard to deal with.
I have had periods of
time when certain symptoms stay with me.
After a while you kind of expect them to be there and learn to deal with
them. This settles the mind and gives
the body a chance to learn how to cope.
When the symptoms change, it is hard to adjust and causes us to often go
into depression. If you think about it,
it makes sense this would happen.
I was raised in a
family where most of them thought that people who had mental problems were
weak. They believed that these people had
not been taught to face life and would never amount to anything because they
let things upset them too easily. Having
MS, I know this is not true.
It is true that some
people give into their problems too easily and get “all bent out of shape” over
nothing. This is not the problem with MS
patients. Most of us with MS have a
multitude of problems we deal with every day, from walking to talking to
thinking to whatever it decides to throw at us.
In this case, getting depressed has nothing to do with weakness………we are
some of the strongest people I know!
Although we are often knocked down by the Monster, we never give up the
fight and keep holding each other up even if we have to do it lying down!
I would love to go to
a Fair again while I can still walk.
Maybe eat a Funnel Cake, popcorn and a big drink. I would like to try some of the games,
too. I think I’ll stay away from the
roller coaster, though…..the one I am on every day is quite enough for me!!! J
2 comments:
Not to minimize specific deficits experienced by MSers, but I believe the constant change, and inability to accommodate to the current situation long enough to "accept" it, is the hardest thing. Again, I don't want to minimize any symptoms, some of which are dastardly, but I believe people can adjust to almost anything given half a chance. MS rarely gives you that chance.
I'm with Judy in that this really is a dastardly disease. I try hard not to sink into depression, but that can be a full-time job -- there's just many barbs assailing us constantly! I never really enjoyed amusement rides, so I'm not liking this one -- but I'll join you at the popcorn stand!
Peace,
Muff
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