Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Dreaming of Moving………..

When I was young, we lived in a duplex.  My grandmother lived in the other side of the duplex.  It was wonderful having her so near, but I dreamed of having a big house and lots of room.

I used to spend the night with friends from school sometimes. It was like being in heaven staying in a real house.  I always thought those people were rich and most of my fantasies were of one day having my own home to live in.

The house we have was built in 1922 and is big, sturdy and roomy.  It has a lot of wonderful, unique things that are usually only found in older homes. The kitchen has a built-in hutch, there are three fireplaces and a fairly roomy upstairs.  I really like the house.  The problem is that the house is becoming too big for us to take care of and going up and down the stairs is an even bigger problem.

Like most with MS, walking and managing everyday chores are becoming more and more difficult for me to handle.  I am often not able to do much more than get dressed, eat breakfast and get to the computer or recliner.  Sweeping, moping, washing clothes and taking care of the house often has to wait........... or, on most days, it just does not get done. 

Helping with the garden and flowers was one of the things I really enjoyed.  Picking up pecans in the Fall and sitting out in the swing under the trees were things that I always looked forward to.  They are just fond memories now.

My husband helps me down the steps each morning and helps me back up them each evening when we are ready to settle for the night.  Many days I think of all the things I wish I could do upstairs, but they are just more things that I am unable to accomplish.

We have talked about getting a condo or similar type dwelling.  The yard work would be taken care of and the living area would all be on one floor.  It is something that we talk about a lot.

As long as my Mother is with us, this dream cannot be accomplished.  She is adamant about not leaving this house and being uprooted at her age.  In some ways I understand this, but in most ways I don’t.  She would have more freedom if things were handier to get to and it would be easier for us to take care of her.  She cannot understand the limitations that MS puts on me and thus will not see the advantages that moving would bring to all of us.  It is a losing battle for us and one that we have not fully come to the conclusion of having to get into with her.  The time may come someday soon that we will have to just take the bull by the horns and battle it out.

This problem weighs heavily on my mind.  It would be so much easier for my husband, as well as me.  He has the burden of taking care of most of my needs as well as my Mother’s and his own.  If we were in a simpler environment, it would lessen this burden.  I guess it is one of those “if it is meant to be it will happen” things.

Until then, I will just dream of the moving van sitting in front of our house getting us ready to move on to a better, more suitable place………….


Muffie said...

Oh Janie, you know from what I've written that we're in the same boat. Our house is even older -- built at the turn of the last century! We have similar charms -- built in hutch in the dining room, fireplaces, huge molding around doors and windows, crystal doorknobs, inlaid hardwood floors...
But charm loses to efficiency at this point in my life, and I really want to move!

Janie said...

Isn't it funny that what you dreamed of when you were young turns into a burden when you get older.........not only that, with our MS, it makes it a double burden. The area we live in is in the older part of town and such beautiful old houses, but they don't hold the charm for me they once did.....I hope your move becomes a reality and mine does too!!