When I was young, we
lived in a duplex. My grandmother lived
in the other side of the duplex. It was
wonderful having her so near, but I dreamed of having a big house and lots of room.
I used to spend the
night with friends from school sometimes. It was like being in heaven staying
in a real house. I always thought those
people were rich and most of my fantasies were of one day having my own home to live in.
The house we have was
built in 1922 and is big, sturdy and roomy.
It has a lot of wonderful, unique things that are usually only found in
older homes. The kitchen has a
built-in hutch, there are three fireplaces and a fairly roomy upstairs. I really like the house. The problem is that the house is becoming too
big for us to take care of and going up and down the stairs is an even bigger
problem.
Like most with MS,
walking and managing everyday chores are becoming more and more difficult for
me to handle. I am often not able to do
much more than get dressed, eat breakfast and get to the computer or
recliner. Sweeping, moping, washing
clothes and taking care of the house often has to wait........... or, on most days, it just does not get
done.
Helping with the
garden and flowers was one of the things I really enjoyed. Picking up pecans in the Fall and sitting out
in the swing under the trees were things that I always looked forward to. They are just fond memories now.
My husband helps me
down the steps each morning and helps me back up them each evening when we are
ready to settle for the night. Many days
I think of all the things I wish I could do upstairs, but they are just more things
that I am unable to accomplish.
We have talked about
getting a condo or similar type dwelling.
The yard work would be taken care of and the living area would all be on
one floor. It is something that we talk
about a lot.
As long as my Mother
is with us, this dream cannot be accomplished.
She is adamant about not leaving this house and being uprooted at her
age. In some ways I understand this, but
in most ways I don’t. She would have
more freedom if things were handier to get to and it would be easier for us to
take care of her. She cannot understand
the limitations that MS puts on me and thus will not see the advantages that
moving would bring to all of us. It is a
losing battle for us and one that we have not fully come to the conclusion of
having to get into with her. The time
may come someday soon that we will have to just take the bull by the horns and battle it
out.
This problem weighs
heavily on my mind. It would be so much
easier for my husband, as well as me. He
has the burden of taking care of most of my needs as well as my Mother’s and
his own. If we were in a simpler
environment, it would lessen this burden.
I guess it is one of those “if it is meant to be it will happen” things.
Until then, I will
just dream of the moving van sitting in front of our house getting us ready to
move on to a better, more suitable place………….
2 comments:
Oh Janie, you know from what I've written that we're in the same boat. Our house is even older -- built at the turn of the last century! We have similar charms -- built in hutch in the dining room, fireplaces, huge molding around doors and windows, crystal doorknobs, inlaid hardwood floors...
But charm loses to efficiency at this point in my life, and I really want to move!
Peace,
Muff
Isn't it funny that what you dreamed of when you were young turns into a burden when you get older.........not only that, with our MS, it makes it a double burden. The area we live in is in the older part of town and such beautiful old houses, but they don't hold the charm for me they once did.....I hope your move becomes a reality and mine does too!!
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