When She Was Good………

My husband wanted me to write his side of the story I wrote about having problems with the telephone company.  He INSISTS that I am not a whiner ……… I tend to disagree!

He said that most of our problems revolve around my Mother.  This is true.  She complains constantly, is very critical and judgmental, whines and usually is in a bad mood.  Needless to say, she is very hard to live with.  We would “let” someone else keep her for a while, but there is no one to do this.

Another of our problems, of course, is the daily struggle with MS.  Each day we wake up and wonder what I will or won’t be able to do.  As most of you know, MS does not always give you the same problems to deal with and often likes to throw in a few new ones. It definitely is NOT boring!

Put those together with the normal problems of everyday life and you have a boiling pot that tends to overrun and spill over sometimes. My pot tends to boil over more than I would like it to!

I am trying to keep my emotions more balanced and level.  Reading, playing games online and putting together my lesson for Sunday School helps.  I try to keep my mind busy so that the little irritations don’t build up so much and cause me to worry and fret.  Most of the time this works…………some of the time it doesn’t.

My husband worked in management most of his life and is very organized.  He keeps notes and lists for just about everything.  I am trying to start doing this and not let things overwhelm me because I have forgotten something.

My mind is really getting “dull”.  Words and thoughts do not come easy anymore.  I can write this blog because I can take my time and do it at my leisure.  Life is not like that.  When things come up, you have to react and have an answer immediately.  I am losing that capability.  It is scary.

There are a lot of things on tv about alzheimer’s and dimentia.   The more I see them, the more I worry about having early development of these diseases.  Since many of these different types are caused by nerve damage, it only makes sense to me that MS patients are in that category.  We are often confused, have problems remembering things and other symptoms found in the list of problems that develop with these diseases.

Maybe things will lighten up one day.  Most days go pretty well.  I try to make an effort to stay calm and not to let the little things bother me so much. It is a constant battle.

I don’t want to be like that little girl in Henry Wadsworth Longfellow’s poem!