According to an old legend, every time we lose someone or something we cherish, a new teardrop is placed in our heart. A teardrop can be placed there for a person, an animal, a place, a thing or whatever we cherish. When our heart fills up, God has compassion on us and we leave earth for Heaven to be rejoined with whatever we have cherished.
Although I am an only child, I was blessed with a lot of aunts, uncles and cousins. I have a large, loving family that means so much to me. We only have one aunt living now, but I have a lot of wonderful cousins that are very special to me and we have yet to lose one of them.
Unfortunately, we are all getting older. It is only a matter of time before we lose one. I am afraid it will be soon. My cousin, Billy, is very sick and under hospice care. Although he could outlive all of us, it is very unlikely. Another of my cousins sent a recent picture of him to the rest of us. My heart broke seeing how sickly and pitiful he looks. It is hard to watch as someone we love suffers.
As the old legend says, it is not only people who put a tear in our hearts. Most of us have many tears from our beloved pets we have lost over the years. Many have tears from homes, land, trees and such they have had to leave. Those of us with chronic diseases have a tear in our hearts for a lot of reasons. For one, we miss our lives as they once were.
All of us age and expect to go through changes as we adjust to more aches and pains and difficulty doing the things we once did. With MS, these changes come on rapidly and forcefully. We do not have a chance to adjust to one before it throws something else on us. We have tears for walking, thinking, talking, writing, etc. It causes many tears to fall into our hearts to join the ones that are already there.
Although I am already grieving my beautiful cousin, I know that he is saved and will be in Heaven with the part of our family that is already there. In many ways, I envy him that reunion and hope that we will all be there one day soon. No, I do not want to die or hurry along that process. I am not in a depression. I just know that being in Heaven beats being on earth in so many ways and there is joy in dying as well as the joys of living.
At least in Heaven there is no more MS, leaving friends, having friends, pets and other things leave us, and .........the best part ... no more tears!!!