Dark And Stormy Night

I have a lot of stress, which means I buzz most of the time.  If you don’t have this symptom, then you don’t know what this means.  It is kind of like sticking your finger in an electrical outlet.  Not pleasant!

According to My-MS.org , “Sensory symptoms are the most common symptom of MS, with up to 90% of those with MS reporting some form of numbness and tingling. The main sensory symptoms include numbness, tightness, tingling or burning. At times these sensations are painful but even when they aren't painful, they may change how you move and can affect balance and decrease mobility. The location specifically determines the type of symptoms you may experience. The greater the damage at any given location will typically determine the severity. The number of areas with damage will typically have a great impact on the effect on all your symptoms. With this in mind, one area with severe damage may have the same impact as 10 locations with mild damage. It's therefore difficult to determine what any single person should expect, but rather what most people in general do expect or experience on a daily basis. The nervous system includes many sensory nerve fibers dedicated to helping you be aware of your environment. They provide the sense of touch in your fingers, and your ability to feel cold or heat on all parts of your body. When these fibers are damaged by MS, your sense of touch may be replaced by feelings of numbness or tingling. Parts of your body may feel burning or cold, even though there is no heat or chill present. MS symptoms can be temporary or more progressive, and can occur in various parts of the body.”

I have the hot/cold sensation most of the time, but the tingling/buzzing is an ongoing thing.  I have noticed that when I am startled or fearful, the buzzing gets really strong and almost unbearable.  I guess, since MS is a brain/nerve thing, this would be expected.

I have two reasons for not liking the summer months.  One, the heat is really hard for MS patients to tolerate.  I have the cooling vest, hat, etc, but they only help for a while.  Eventually I have to come inside because I am getting weak, nauseated and can barely walk.

The second reason I do not like the summer months is storms.  I know, when you “grow up” you are supposed to get over that fear of storms.  I didn’t.  If anything, it has gotten worse as I have gotten older.  My grandmother told me that I was in a tornado when I was 3 or 4 and she thought that was one of the reasons I was so afraid of wind and lightning.  I was also at ground zero during Hurricane Hugo, which did not help this situation.

My husband says I go completely crazy during a bad storm.  I have to agree with him since I really don’t have a sense of what I am doing at the time.  That is hard to share, but the truth is the truth.  In a bad storm, I am a basket case.  The "startles" that I have gets much more pronounced also.  Each flash of lightning and clap of thunder seems way out of proportion to me.

One of the offsprings of this is that when I am upset, even during a mild storm (if there IS such a thing!) is that the buzzing I usually have turns on full blast.  The stress of trying to deal with my fear makes the buzzing really strong.  I have talked with several others who have noticed this when they are stressed out.  I guess, as with many things with MS, our normal isn’t normal!

What really makes me angry is that I love a good mystery.  Most of the really great ones occur on a “dark and stormy night” in a creepy old house, with eerie music.  I wish I could just put myself into that mode and enjoy a storm……..oh well........maybe one day……..