Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Bouncing off the wall........

I worked for quite a few years for an attorney who also was a District Court Judge.  Every Tuesday night, he would preside over cases, mostly traffic court type things.  He was a funny, honest, personable guy.

One of the things I remember most about him was the fact that he was always telling me he was going to have to enlarge the hallway, as I seemed to be constanting walking into the wall on one side or the other.  At the time, I just thought I was in a hurry and not paying attention to what I was doing.  I know now that it was the beginning of my MS symptoms.

It is strange to start walking, thinking you are going in one direction, and ending up at a completely different place.  Most of us who have MS don't really realize how off-balance we are until we fall, or knock something over that was not even in our original pathway.  Dancing, playing sports, and being generally graceful are not in the equation anymore.  It is heartbreaking to think that things we often took for granted are no longer going to be a part of our lives.

One of the reasons so many MS patients become depressed is the realization that our lives are no longer built around things we want to do, but things we can do.  It is like getting older, but not in a gradual way.............suddenly. 

When I get up, I no longer just start walking, but make sure I have my balance.  The last time I didn't do this, I just plunged forward, fell and broke my leg.  I don't want to "play" that anymore!

I hope some of you will put your imput into this blog and offer suggestions from your own struggles, or the struggles of someone you know going through this.  We can all learn from each other and give each other help and support.  No one need go through things alone..................

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