My husband and I always get up early and carry our coffee out to the back room and drink it. We can see out in the back yard and enjoy watching the garden grow and the little animals running around. There are usually squirrels, birds, cats and rabbits playing in the early morning.
This morning we had a new surprise: a little baby rabbit was venturing out from the shed to check out the world. He/she hopped around near the shed door, peeped around the corner of the shed, and high-tailed it back inside. The world evidently seemed a little too scary to try it yet. It was a precious thing to watch and really started our day off with a good feeling.
I think sometimes I tend to get all wrapped up inside myself and forget all the blessings I have. I have a fantastic husband, three precious children and two grandsons, a home that is paid for, furniture, clothes, food and many more things that so many others do not have. I have some wonderful friends, a great family and countless acquaintances that really liven up my life.
Even though Stephen King and Nora Roberts are not shaking in their boots for fear of me taking over their readers, I have written two books that have had good reviews from those who have read them. I write this blog, have published newspaper articles and had a great career as a paralegal.
All in all, I am very blessed.
Since the onset of MS, it has been so easy to get on my potty pot. I really have to watch those days and shake them off as soon as possible. Even though I have so many things to be thankful for, as MS takes away the “normal” things of life, we tend to get resentful, bitter and depressed. Maybe not to a dangerous level, but any level makes it harder to get through a day.
My depression/anxiety is more prevalent at night. Like most with MS, even taking sleeping aids I wake up in the middle of the night and have problems falling back asleep. In that twilight time, “pity poor me” thoughts try to overwhelm me and I have to fight feeling that my life is useless.
Even though I worked full-time most of my life, I was very diligent about keeping a clean house. Now, you could write your grocery list in the dust. I always changed the furniture around a couple of times a year to give the house a different look. I’m not sure I have done that in over ten years. I was always scouting cookbooks to try out new recipes. I still love to read cookbooks but rarely have the stamina to attempt to try out something new to cook. My life is so different now and I feel like I am just sitting around spinning my wheels and getting no place.