I have gotten very limited in the things I can do. Most of the day, unfortunately, is spent on the computer. I “talk” with my MS and Facebook friends, play games and just browse around the web looking at things that interest me. I enjoy these things but wish I could clean my house, cook the things I would like to and get out in the yard and be a normal person.
Like most with MS, I can either choose to be happy with the things I can do or be bitter thinking of the things I cannot do. I choose to be happy (for the most part!). I also enjoy reading, watching football (go Packers!) and movies and dabbling in crafts that I can still manage to do. Many of the crafts that I once enjoyed require more control of finger movement and such that I no longer have the ability to do. As such, I have moved on to doing simple things that I can do and still enjoy.
I try to stay upbeat and be a happy person with my life. There are times that I let my inability to do the things I once did get me down. My mind wanders to when I was able to crochet, sew, cook, clean, run, jump, dance, take care of flowers in the yard and other things that most people take for granted being able to do. At times I get really depressed. Sometimes I wonder if I am accomplishing anything by going through each day. As I lie in bed at night and go over the things I did that day, I can’t help but feel sometimes that I just went through the day and did nothing.
Most days I can feel happy with at least one thing I did that I can be proud of. A friend of mine was one of the ones in Colorado who lost her home to the fires. By offering her my thoughts and prayers, she said it is helping her through this horrible time in her life. Maybe to most people that does not sound like much, but when a kind word and a prayer is what is needed, it can mean the world to someone.
Even though a lot of us with MS have gotten to a point where we sometimes feel useless, we have to remember that we mean so much to each other when we share our thoughts and feelings and try to help each other through our love and encouragement. There have been times when these things I have received from my friends online have been the lifeline that saw me through. I hope that I have been able to give this to others.
There are also the sweet things that mean so much that we receive from our families. My husband is my rock. My family is my heart. My grandsons are the joy that I cannot put into words. Hanging out with them just makes all the pain and heartache melt away……..I’m sure you know what I mean!!!!