Wednesday, August 29, 2012

The Grass Is Always Greener……..

Most of us dealing with MS have a buzzing/tingling/numbing feeling most of the time.  It is usually in our hands, feet or face, but it is definitely something that drives us crazy after a while.

I was thinking how wonderful it is to have my foot back from being numb, but now it wants to tingle/buzz really strong.  We always think the grass is greener on the other side of the fence, meaning other things look better than what we have.  Obviously, that is not always the case.

I would, of course, rather be able to walk than not to.  But having this extreme tingling sensation is not pleasant either.  Maybe I am just not going to be satisfied with any of the problems with MS!  I doubt anyone else is either.

I read a lot of blogs and articles MSers write.  Many times, the people writing them are having terrible problems with their MS and I feel so sorry for them.  Not only the physical problems but the mental ones can really take their toll on a person.  Sometimes the writers are doing really well and I am a little envious of them.  I don’t wish any problems upon them, but just wish I was doing as well as they are.  As I said, most of us can always find someone we wish our lives were mimicking.

The only problem with that is there are enough problems for everyone to have their share.  Some that are having very little problems with their MS are suffering terribly with emotional problems.  Their friends and families are not standing by them and they are left out in the world to face whatever comes up on their own.  Most do not feel they are strong enough to go it alone.  My heart goes out to them.

Many times, what seems like a small physical problem is really a “biggie”.  If we had to deal with it ourselves, we would keep the problems we have.  As most with MS know, there are no small problems when you deal with them day in and day out.

I often daydream about how it would be to go back in time when I was able to do the things I wanted to……..when my energy level was high and I was reasonably coordinated and my brain working pretty well.  The only problem with that is that I don’t want to go back and relive some of those years.  I really like being older in that I don’t have a lot of the pressure that most of us have when we are young.  I don’t have to worry about a job, young children, and trying to keep up with everything else that goes with keeping a household together. These days, I can walk around in my bedroom shoes all day if I wish, have cereal for dinner or take a rest any time during the day.

Although the grass often looks better on the other side of the fence, there are usually drawbacks that we would not have wanted to face had we known they were there.  I think I’ll just stay on my side and deal with my own problems!



Christine Messaros Jackson said...

Yes, we do tend to think about the things we would rather have or not deal with....I'm with ya! My perspective however has been improved as I cherish more of my moments with my family. My daughter loves that I get to spend more time with her, and I sure do too. The love from my husband, who despite the guilt I have of being "lazy" because I'm too fatigued to keep the house as clean as I used to doesn't even bother him. They love me more than I could ever have expected despite the illness of MS. Thank you for the blog! You are a great writer and the MS vision is real.

Janie said...

Thank YOU for the wonderful comment, Christine! I really appreciate it. I, too, have the lazy guilt trip and a wonderful husband who takes it all in stride and loves me anyway. We are so blessed in sharing these things and I thank God every day for him!!!