Saturday, March 5, 2011

Suck It In!

No, I’m not talking about my tummy, but emotions.  I remember when I was young watching Jackie Kennedy at her husband’s funeral.  All the news people kept saying how “dignified” she looked.  It must have been so terrible to have to be “dignified” in front of the whole world when your life had just been turned upside down.
I have somehow gotten into waking up at 4AM.  The other morning I was lying there, playing with Buffy (our Pomeranian), and started crying.  I wasn’t thinking sad thoughts or feeling down.  I just could not stop crying.  I tried my best to stop, but it would not. 
On reading and studying about MS, plus this IV treatment, it seems that uncontrolled crying (or laughing) comes along with it.  There is no rhyme or reason for it, it just happens.  Evidently that part of the brain that controls our emotions gets short-circuited and our emotions get all confused and overdose.  I am hoping it doesn’t decide to do so in the grocery store or church.
Most of us have been taught to hold in our emotions and not let people see us angry, upset, hurt, etc.  It is supposed to be the adult thing to do.  I have always thought we have  such a wide range of feelings to work with it seems a shame not to use them.
I do hope that if I have to experience this type of reaction, it will be the laughing rather than the crying.  I know that if I burst out laughing at an odd moment, people will think I am crazy.  Maybe so, but I still like laughing better. 
Besides, laughing is nice; crying makes those blotchy red things on your face!

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